Words to Live By...


January 28, 2008

Love & Relationships-When the diamond turns to coal?

I love my new friend Samantha Goldberg of Gold Events in New Jersey for her incredible candor and "tell it like it is" attitude!
Samantha is host of her own wedding planning podcast "It's Your Wedding: Get Real with Samantha Goldberg" on the Wedding Podcast Network and a favorite star of "Whose Wedding is it Anyway" on the Style Network.
Samantha's "get real" attitude extends to her blog which I love to read, as she often really challenges brides to remember that as wonderful as a wedding day and celebration is, there is a real life relationship that will still be there the next day and, G-d willing for years to come. You know, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the rest of your life" kind of reality:)!
Earlier this month, Samantha posted a piece on her blog about grooms cheating during the engagement and should the bride give the ring back?
Talk about a reality check!!! That post generated TONS of email to her and she said some of the letters just made her jaw drop to the floor as she mentioned on her latest post.
Samantha is going to talk about this HOT topic & some other spicy relationship and wedding issues on her podcast show this coming Wednesday night, January 31 at 9:00 PM EST. You can listen to the show live at this link. You have to download a small program to join the show to text or call in live.
So why am I posting this? Because I feel, like Samantha, that there is more to the experience of marriage than a wedding day (which is wonderful!) to eat cake and dance and get presents.
Marriage is a serious institution and it should be about two people who are ready to share their lives together entering into a relationship to grow and nuture one another, do great things together, have children (if they wish and G-d willing are able to) and be there for one another as they grow older. It should be something that two people look forward to and not dread.
Marriage is not just something you decide to do because you feel forced into it by peer pressure ("Well gee, all our friends are"), or your girlfriend is pushing you into it.
So guys, if you aren't ready, keep your money for the dang ring and don't pop the question! Telling your girlfriend you aren't ready may not be pleasant but breaking the heart of your fiance by cheating on her after asking her to marry you is just cowardly, immature and the lowest of the low. That is just W.R.ON.G. guys! You won't get any sympathy from me and HELL no, you don't deserve to get the ring back!
And ladies, if your intended isn't really your true heart and soul's intended then thank G-d you found out now. If you want to give the ring back, fine, if you don't, then dont! So take that diamond that turned into a figurative lump of coal and turn it back into diamonds for you if it means it will give you closure and release.
Once upon a time this wedding planner (who is now married to her true soulmate and love of her life) was married to another man.
When the marriage sadly ended after giving it a hell of a go for 9 years, I KEPT THE RING!!! Trust me, I deserved it! I traded it in for a fabulous cocktail ring I found years later that I wanted with my birthstone in it:)
Don't forget to tune into the podcast and have a Stylish Day!

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